I have orders in from customers as well as a wholesale order of nearly 50 items to complete ASAP. Sometimes I let that kind of workload get the best of me. When I'm vulnerable late at night, and too exhausted to move, the anxiety of failure overcomes me. I am too tired to go sew, but too awake to fall asleep. And so I lay there kicking myself for forgetting this and stressing out about completing that.
It is a lot of pressure owning your own business. There is so much joy that comes with success and so much sorrow that comes with failure. I make every single piece. I invest my time and my life into my work. That's a large burden for a piece of cloth to hold.
So, knowing that this fear is a crippling weakness of mine, I am setting out to put the stress behind me.
I can't take it all so seriously anymore and that starts with allowing myself "free time."
I work from home, therefore I end up working all but maybe 3 hours a day, 6-7 days a week. When I'm not working, I think about work. Okay okay. I'm in a bad place! And I know it.
My goal for the weeks ahead are to take off for the whole weekend and not to put in more than 8 hours a day.
I took off (most) of this past weekend. I made cheesecake. I went for a walk with a friend and I painstakingly taped instagram photos in a grid above our bed.
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I am feeling lifted today.